Man Arrested For Trying to Have Sex with ATM- In Tennessee

Lonnie Hutton was arrested while attempting to have sex with an ATM at the Boro Bar and Grill.

According to WKRN, Hutton pulled down his pants and underwear, exposed his genitals and then attempted to make a deposit with his penis.

A commenter at The Smoking Gun, which also ran the story, said, "After years of being screwed by the bank for fees, he is just returning the favour."

The responding police officer found Hutton, still nude from the waist down, walking around the bar, thrusting his hips in the air.

When the officer told Hutton to sit at a wooden picnic table, he began to engage in "sexual intercourse with the wooden picnic table".

Hutton smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech, bloodshot eyes and was unsteady on his feet.

He was charged with public intoxication and booked into the Rutherford County jail on $250 bond.

Superhero Funeral dedicated to 5 year old, Brayden Denton who died of Cancer

The mother of a five-year-old Indiana boy who died as a result of cancer decided to give him a funeral celebrating the things he loved most – superheroes.

Staci Denton, whose son Brayden died of a brain tumour earlier this month, wanted to do away with the suits and dresses and have her boy’s loved ones representing the superheroes that he adored.

‘He was a huge Spider-Man fan,’ said Mrs Denton.

‘He had to quit just liking Spider-Man because he had all the toys. So really he liked every superhero.’

Wow, what a funeral!

See the picture of Britain’s oldest granny prostitute who’s still busy with clients at 85

At 85 years of age Sheila has more notches on her bedpost than most twentysomethings – because she is Britain’s oldest prostitute.

On closer examination, you can see that Sheila wears a miniskirt, suspenders and patent heels. And it’s no wonder she has such a large grin on her face, given that she rakes in £250 an hour for raunchy romps.

Sheila went on the game four years ago after struggling with loneliness following the death of her second husband, aeronautical engineer Noel Coupe, in 2004.

She used to entertain ten clients a week until she had to go under the knife for an operation in which she had to have 13in of intestine removed.

Since taking up the world’s oldest profession, she has been disowned by her family and seen her story splashed all over the Press –  but it isn’t enough to get her to give up her lucrative career.

‘I don’t think I will ever stop,’ Sheila says ahead of appearing on new Channel 4 documentary My Granny The Escort.

Speaking about her male clients, she said: ‘They see something about me. It is a nice feeling.

‘Often men call me up and say, “Will you please go on talking because you are turning me on.” I know I am very, very sexy.’

Attempting to explain why she’s a granny on the game, she added: ‘The most important reason is because I love sex. Even thinking about it makes me feel better.

Lol, I envy her. She really enjoy what she does.

WOMEN IN LOVE WITH PRIESTS ASK POPE TO MAKE CELIBACY OPTIONAL

Twenty-six women who say they are in love with Roman Catholic priests have written to Pope Francis urging him to make celibacy optional. 

The women, who all live in Italy, described the "devastating suffering" caused by the church's ban on priests having sex and marrying. 

"We love these men and they love us," they said in their letter published on the authoritative website Vatican Insider. 

"With humility, we place at your feet our suffering so that something can change, not just for us but for the good of the whole Church," they added in the message, signed with their first names and an initial of their last names, but with several phone numbers. 

The women asked the pope to "bless our love," adding that few people could understand the "devastating suffering lived by a woman who has a strong love for a priest". 

The Church teaches that a priest should dedicate himself totally to his vocation, essentially taking the Church as his spouse, in order to help fulfil its mission. 

But the women told the pope that their men would be able to serve the Church "with greater passion" if they were supported by a woman who loves them and children. 

This was far better for the priests and the Church, they argued in the letter sent to the Vatican, than "a life of continued clandestineness, with the frustration of a love that is not complete". 

The women asked to meet the pope to explain the plight "tearing apart our souls" because the couples were faced with the alternatives of either the men leaving the priesthood or carrying on the relationships in secret. 

Lol, sure they also fill the gap.

Couples first kiss turns bloody in Ghana

A 50-year-old farmer, Emmanuel Akli's first attempt to kiss his wife ended with him biting her lips, wounding her severely.

Akli who had watched a woman being kissed on the television at Nsawam a few weeks ago, decided to practice it on his wife.

Akli and his wife, Grace Asigbey, 43, live at Gadzikorpe, a hamlet near Manchi village in the Ga West Municipality of the Greater Accra Region.

Narrating her ordeal to The Spectator on Monday, Madam Asigbey, said she had been married to Akli for 12 years. According to her, they had never kissed.

Madam Asigbey said about two weeks ago, her husband after returning from Nsawam, came with tales of kissing he saw on television and insisted on practicing it on her.

She said last Thursday, May 8, when they went to bed, Akli decided to kiss her, but she objected to it because he was smelling of alcohol.

Akli, she said, forcibly held her and attempted to kiss her but ended up biting her lips.

When blood started oozing from her lips, she shouted for help and neighbours came to her aid to treat the wounds.

She said the incident was a “small problem” which was resolved amicably by the village elders, who fined her husband two bottles of “Akpeteshie,” a local gin.

Stealing is not Corruption- said ICPC chairman, Mr. Ekpo Nta

According to the ICPC chairman, Mr. Ekpo Nta most acts credited to corruption have no relationship with stealing.

He noted that most Nigerians, including the educated, misinterpret corruption for stealing.

 “Stealing is erroneously reported as corruption. We must go back to what we were taught at school to show that there are educated people in Nigeria. We must address issues as we were taught in school to do.”

Sir, we need to ask you what corruption is? Is it honesty!

Now, "if a public official use his position to steal pension funds that do not belong to him, isn't that stealing and corruption at the same time?"

I guess in this instance, you will u tell us. "That is stealing and not corruption. The perpetrator is a thief and not a corrupt official."

Infact, we need to look up the meaning of 'Stealing' and 'Corruption' in the dictionary.

Semantics can't change reality, Sir.

Thief steals wallet from collapsed man – then buys entire bar a drink

An opportunist thief snatched a man’s wallet while he thought he was having a heart attack.

And, as if that’s not callous enough, he used the stolen $100 (£60) to buy drinks for the entire bar where the man had collapsed.

Shocking footage of the incident in Rock Bottom Bar in Illinois has been posted on YouTube.

CCTV captured the moment Larry Lotter fell off his bar stool in a fit of pain.

His friends dialed 911 and Bryan Kuegler, another bar patron, dropped to Lotter’s side – but he was not there to help.

Kuegler proceeded to reach into Lotter’s pocked and swipe his wallet.

Paramedics arrived on the scene soon after and took the victim to hospital – where the suspected heart attack turned out to be a false alarm.

Kuegler then used Lotter’s cash to buy the entire bar a drink.

Mike Dixon, of Madison County Sheriff’s Office, told KTVI: ‘Rarely have I seen somebody literally steal from what they believe to be a dying man, it’s pretty pathetic.’

Kuegler has been arrested and charged with theft.

Lol, 'bought the entire bar a drink' -he is really a big boy for a day.

Couples Caught Having sex beside a Cash Machine or ATM

I suppose they got carried away in the heat of the moment or Are they under Viagra influence or what??? 

Pictures of the amorous duo later ended up on twitter and another social network site.This picture shows a randy couple who just couldn't wait to get home before having sex. They went to the foyer of a bank and started having sex next to the cash machine. Some passers-by took selfies of themselves as the couple were having their wildest moment inside the bank in Oviedo, a town in the northern Spanish province of Galicia. 

 Apart from their sock, they were naked during their tryst with their clothes strewn around them. The lovers continued to have sex without knowing or caring what was happening outside where people were laughing, applauding and taking pictures. 

 A police patrol went to the area alerted by a shocked witness.First the officers just knocked on the door but seemed too embarrassed to actually do anything. Then another team showed up and entered the premises.The police screamed at them. 

The couple obeyed. Police already took their details but have not pressed any charges.. 

Lol, they couldn't hold it any longer

Vibrator got Stuck Inside a Man's Intestine While Having Adventure with his Wife in Bedroom

After an X-ray in a hospital in Fresno, California. it became apparent that the patient, who remained anonymous, had been up to something strange in the bedroom.

‘We could see, perfectly, a large object that was lodged in the large intestine,’ said nurse Stevey Pope, who treated the man.

‘This is the first time I’ve encountered a running vibrator still inside somebody.’

It was later revealed by the man’s wife the dildo had become stuck after they ‘got adventurous’.

‘Things got out of control and the vibrator got lost inside him,’ Pope added.

The nurse said if the vibrator had not been removed the man could have suffered a number of problems, including internal bleeding.

Lol, the man must have enjoy the adventure.

Man Sues Almost Everyone For $2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000- more than all the money on planet

A Manhattan man sued New York City, a bakery, two local hospitals, Kmart and a "Latina" dog owner for two undecillion dollars -- more than all the money on planet Earth.

Anton Purisima, 62, filed the hand-scrawled lawsuit last month against those entities and pretty much anyone else he could think of. He seeks damages for "civil rights violations, personal injury, discrimination on national origin, retaliation, harassment, fraud, attempted murder, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and conspiracy to defraud," the New York Post reports.

Purisima is representing himself in the hope that he can score the insane amount of money, which was written with a 2 and 36 zeros. It looks like this:

$2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.

His claims range from an infected middle finger he suffered when he was bit by a "rabies-infected" dog on a bus, to a "Chinese couple" taking pictures of him at a hospital. He said no money in the world could satisfy him, so his damages are "priceless."

Past that, it's hard to figure out what exactly he's suing for. His number isn't listed, and he didn't respond to calls for comment from reporters.

Lol, I guess he want to be the richest man on earth